Back in 2006/2007, I had an email signature that had all of my titles. It was about 7 or 8 lines long because I did (and still do) a lot. I sent emails to everyone from family and friends to clients and associates. My theory at the time was “y’all gon’ get ALL of this! You WILL know that I’m all that and a bag of chips.” While some people appreciated it, most found it braggadocios and unbecoming. During that time in my life, I was also around a LOT of title-driven people. Titles were their “thing” and they were going to pursue that at any cost. I did NOT want to be associated with all of that mess! So…I changed my signature line to read, “my titles don’t define me…God does!”

Ever since then, though, I have struggled with the issue of a title. I have always had issues of self-worth even though I know I’m great. It’s like I understand the importance of a title, but I don’t want it because of what people might think of said title. Like what in the entire world??? That being said, I also want people to recognize the greatness that is Leesha Melissa Hall Archie without having to go through the laundry list of things I do amazingly well.

Lately, imposter syndrome has been a MAJOR issue for me. According to Wikipedia, Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenonimpostorismfraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one’s accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.[1] Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or interpret it as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be.[2] While early research focused on the prevalence among high-achieving women, impostor syndrome has been recognized to affect both men and women equally.” Why do I feel this way? Probably stems back to self-worth issues, but I’m no psychologist. What I do know is that in my quest to be REAL…this does not work.

This morning, I started thinking about all that I’ve accomplished and all that I am poised to do…and I got scared. The “gas” of dissolution tried to infiltrate my mind, devaluing every great thing and showing me all of my missteps and failures. Usually when this happens, my mind goes down a rabbit trail about what I did wrong and how I haven’t changed…why I’m just the owner of my business and not the president of my company… In that moment, I had a flashback to an email from 2007 where someone called me out for being a fraud because THEY didn’t do what they were supposed to do. As I replayed the reading of that email in my mind, I saw my signature line “my titles don’t define me…God does!” I spoke out loud and asked God, “how do You define me?”

“You are my daughter. I have blessed you with many abilities. You are capable. You are enough because I live within you. Don’t let the enemy use your failures against you. I have allowed you those experiences to develop and grow you into your purpose. You will succeed. You will win. I’ve got you…and if I am for you…”

“Who can be against me?” I said audibly. Not even my own swirling thoughts can overrun the power of the Creator of the universe who lives inside of me. So I take His words – the ones He left in the Bible and the ones He’s spoken to me – and run on. I don’t have to see what the end is going to be. I KNOW that I have a purpose. I KNOW that victory is my portion. And if that is how God defines me, I’m going to work the mess out of His definition.